


Enjoying the Little Things (Regardless of Biology)

by singing_hedgehog



Series: Striations [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: 100 percent gen, Gen, Gray Jedi, Humor, Jedi Knight Katsulas, LS Sith Warrior, Light Side Sith Warrior, Not Canon Compliant, Rishi, Shadow of Revan, Sith Warrior Ashlan, Swearing, and Rishii, ashlan no, ashlan stop, brief discussion of vomiting, cross-faction friendship, humorous interlude, in which ashlan is basically a cat, zabrak biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singing_hedgehog/pseuds/singing_hedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretending to be a cannibalistic pirate is hard enough for Katsulas <i>without</i> his new Sith friend getting distracted by something he really, <i>really</i> wants and absolutely, 100% should not have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enjoying the Little Things (Regardless of Biology)

**Author's Note:**

> While I'm still chipping away at Sunspots, I decided to answer some tumblr writing prompts with ficlets set in the same universe. This one was a response to "Favourite Meals" and is probably as good a way as any to introduce my (ridiculously) LS Sith Warrior. If light side Sith aren't your thing, this is probably not for you.
> 
> Takes place on Rishi during the Shadow of Revan expansion. Katsulas and the Wrath of the Emperor have teamed up.

"I still can't believe our cover story is _pirates_ ," Katsulas grumbles as he stalks down the center of the Rishi open market, his cape billowing out behind him and the mid-day sun glinting off of the gold accents on his blue and red armor and oversized tricorn hat. Pirates are as common as palm trees at this port, but even the locals avoid this small, dark-skinned, scowling human. "Fucking _pirates_."

"And _I_ still can't believe you have your panties in a wad over it," Kat's companion quips back with a grin and an eyeroll. Lord Ashlan's tricorn hat is notably missing-a fact that Katsulas finds to be incredibly unfair. Ashlan maintains, absurdly, that his hat simply wouldn't fit over his horns, much less over the (ridiculous) ponytail that sticks straight out from the back of his head.

"I don't have my-" Kat cuts himself off and scowls.

"C'mon," Ashlan chuckles. He claps Kat on the shoulder. "Pirate pissing contests are so common around here that the locals practically tell time by them. It's the perfect ruse."

" _Cannibal._ Pirates."

Ashlan shrugs and laces his fingers together atop his spiky red hair. "You need to be terrifying for this to work. Lana probably figured your cover could use a little extra _oomf_ , what with you being all _Jedi_ and _tiny_." Ashlan flaps one hand vaguely to indicate Kat's compact frame.

"I am _not-_ "

"So small. Very tiny. Pocket Jedi."

Kat huffs. "Says the Sith Lord who's skinny enough to be mistaken for a sewing needle." He turns his head to glare back at Ashlan, only to find that Ashlan isn't following him anymore. Ashlan has stopped several feet back and is staring off to the side of the street, wide-eyed and unblinking.

"What is it?" Kat asks in a low voice. He turns and goes for the vibrosword at his hip, already missing the reassuring familiarity of his lightsabers. He's not as skilled with vibroswords (it's been years since he's practiced with one, and the balance is completely different), but lightsabers don't fit with his cover story, and he's hoping he'll only be fighting other pirates and not _Sith_.

But Kat sees neither of these when he follows Ashlan's rapt stare. Instead, he sees a fruit-seller's wooden cart and its increasingly nervous-looking Rishii owner. The Rishii isn't armed. She looks between Ashlan and Katsulas like she wants to bolt for safety but doesn't think it'll do her much good.

Kat raises an eyebrow and goes to stand next to Ashlan. Quietly, he asks, "You recognize her or something?"

"What?" Ashlan looks briefly at Kat, confused. "No, no, the berries."

Kat blinks. "The...berries?"

"Yes, the _berries_!" Ashlan jabs a finger insistently at the food cart, now back to staring with rapt, open longing at the open boxes filled with small, oblong red fruits. "The sumptuous, juicy, travel-sized-for-my-snacking-convenience embodiments of tart _perfection_."

"I... _what?_ "

"I'ma buy an entire box," Ashlan declares.

" _They're free_ ," the Rishii trader squawks nervously. "F-for you. Compliments of-of-I mean tokens of my ad-admiration. They're _much_ more satisfying than my humble, skinny self. I'm mostly feathers, ha! N-not that you would have a reason to-I mean-"

 _Oh for fuck's sake_ , Katsulas thinks. He can't even tell the poor woman that they're _not actually cannibals_ , because that would break their cover story.

Ashlan places one palm over his right heart in a show of utter sincerity. "My dear lady, I would _never_ eat a procurer of the single most delicious edible item in existence. Additionally, we The Red Hulls only devour our _enemies_. You, madam, are a gift and a treasure and are in absolutely no danger from us. I insist on buying a box." Ashlan begins to dig through his credit pouch.

Katsulas stares at him for a few seconds. Something is wrong with this, but he can't quite place why. Then it hits him. "Ashlan, aren't...aren't zabrak _carnivores?_ "

Ashlan gives him a sidelong, guilty glance. "Yyyyep." He counts out a handful of credit chits.

"...Can...can you even digest those?"

"Nnnnnope." Ashlan pays the Rishii merchant and liberates one entire shallow crate full of the red berries. He holds it with both hands and grins as though he's won enough jackpots to earn a lifetime gambling ban on Nar Shadda.

" _Ashlan you're going to be sick._ "

"Yep!" He shifts the crate to balance it on one arm. "Don't worry, I'll wait until we're done for the day." Ashlan sets off down the market street, the picture of happiness.

Kat falls into step beside him and feathers his hands in the air around the crate of berries, as though he's trying to work out how to snatch it away from Ashlan. "Why would you do this. You're just going to throw them up."

Ashlan grins cheekily at him and winks. "Just means I get to taste them twice."

Kat's expression _scrunches_ with utter disgust and horror. " _Ugh!_ Ashlan _, what is wrong with you?_ "

Ashlan cackles gleefully and points at Katsulas. "Your _face_ , oh my stars, that was so worth it. C'mon, loosen up a little, Pocket Jedi! It'll be _fine_." He pops a berry into his mouth.


End file.
